"We shape clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want. We hammer wood for a house,but it is the inner space that makes it livable. We work with being, but non-being is what we use."
This is part of the shout out ng aking friend sa kanyang Facebook. As I am contemplating on this saying which was popularized by Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching. I can hardly believe that this is the exact thing that happened to me. I wanted to connect this to my various relationships whom we considered as marjories. As I said in my previous blogs, I wanted to share my experiences on the different Tuna Catch.
Tunas are priced catch of the ocean. They come in different species such as blue marlin, skip jack, red eye and many more. Each specie has a different purpose for different occasions. For the purpose of this allegory, I just would like to focus it on a certain specie of Tuna which is called Yellow Fin. This is the most expensive kind, priced in the market for up to 75 USD a kilo. When it lands on your plate as a Sushi such as a California Maki or Tuna Negra, It will cost you around 35-200 USD depending on the kind of restaurant that serves it. In San Francisco, my fav sushi bar is located at Japantown but my exboyfriend would usually bring me to his favorite restaurant at Sutter St. called Sankaru.
Sankaru is where the whose who of the Tuna's go in the bay area, specially in downtown San Francisco. both edible and non edible Tuna of any kind flock there together. This is where you can also find the best of its kind, the Yellow Fins. Edible tuna's are those that you can only eat but those that are not edible are the kind where they take your breath away.
I have a chance to befriend some of them in a more intimate behaviour. Yellow Fin Tuna's are rich and famous. The adjectives that labels them are either both or either or of the latter description. Of all the Marjories, Tuna's are considered to be a trophy but sad to say that this kinds of trophy's are not for public consumption with your name along side theirs, worse if you form a relationship with them, don't expect that you will be elated by stories as if you are meant for one another because you will not and will never be.
Do you know that eating too much tuna's would cause your uric acid to shoot up? If you have a very high uric, these would cause you a lot of pain in the nerve. the most common cause of athritis, gout and various nerve diseases can be attributed to high uric acid in the system and tuna' is one of the culprit of them all.
Just like in any Tuna relationship, its hard to get into one specially when your tuna is a Yellow Fin. As much as you enjoy the perks, you are also denying yourself of a basic right which is to be happy and gay. Yellow fins hides everything. Their affection and verbal communications are usually in an undertone, screaming in a falseto called silence. They cannot say that they want this and that and yet most of the time when you are into their guessing game routines, they'd rather wanted your guessing and liking it all the time.
Most of the yellow fins are professional. They come from the business sector. They are politicians and statesmen. Some of them are lawyers, doctors, engineers just to name a few. They usually hold high offices in the public or private practice. They have charm and guts that cannot be bought. If you may, you will buy it with a price. Yellow Fins regarded themselves as priceless. They may like you or even love you but they cannot fight for you to let you come openly into their world. Unless the Yellow Fin will break his sand castle and ice caged and announce to the public that he is gay and taken . . . by you.
Sabi nga ni Lao Tzu, we work with being but it is with the non-being that we use in our daily life. If we will just follow the teachings of Lao Tzu, we should avoid this kind of people because they will just hurt you in the end. Just like a tuna, over dozing with them will give you gout and athrities. As much as you enjoy every moment of it. The secret affair. The hiding. The denials and the double life of this fish will surely degrade you in the end.
But what can you do if you fall in love with the Yellow Fin? Such thing happened to me and these are my learnings:
- Don't be too much of a gaga over him. Meaning huwag mo syang isipin sa araw araw na ginawa ng Diyos, hwag sya ng sya na lang kasi hindi ka rin iniisip noon.
- Be on a battle gear. Always come prepared. Yellow Fins love to be challenged on anything. They like intellectual discourses, they want challenges and victories. So bring a bunch of your stuff and flaunt it out.
- Don't beg. ayaw ng mga Yellow Fin sa mga ulila at poorlilet. You may not be rich and wealthy but you can always appear decent and innocent.
- Always come fresh and meaningful. Gusto nilang may bago. May good news. Ayaw ng mga Yellow Fins ng lumang kanin, they want to dine it out secretly but Al Fresco.
- Be the subordinate. Yellow Fins have superiority complex. They want to take the lead even if they cannot. So play the game because in the end, you win.
- Always walk away. If you fall in love, just walk away and regain yourself. Yellow Fins are hard as a rock. They may love you but they will not let you know. Malalaman mo na lang kasi minsan they tend to give you material things in the form of a reward, professional fee or talent fees. Lahat ng bigay and gift nila, may structural description iyon but if you let yourself get into it. Its one way of them saying that they love you too!
- Always on a look out. Yellow Fins would want you because they want something too. So if they give you something, they give you dahil may kapalit iyon. Huwag ka ng mag ilusyon na martyr sila dahil sa larangang ito, ikaw ang martyr.
- Remember the cues. Yellow Fins love to waggle their tail. Sometimes, they would challenge you for a break up, sometimes they will tell you that they are getting married, that they are suffocated, busy, et. al. . . . again just walk away and regain yourself. Just take it as it is and just wait for that day to say riiiiiiiiiiiiiing. there . . . . he will call you because he will always need you!
When we shape a clay to become a jar. There is that hollowness inside that is empty. It is the emptiness that makes us whole and makes us who we are. That is what defines us. it is the soul of our being that makes us desirable to the Yellow Fins. What we are makes us attractive to them. Who we are makes us to become their need. Just be yourself. If you are open and gay and respect yourself, then you are a good catch for Yellow Fins. Because being Free is who we are. Free Indeed!
Princess Di














